DRIVEN INSANE

(Season 3, Episode 39)


WELCOME BACK TO: 

THE COUNTDOWN TO HORROR ZERO

SEASON THREE

Presenting... a twice told Horrorwalker Travel Guide tale of horror and insanity. 

Sometimes, 

It takes that which is beyond the norm of reality to shake us back to a semblance of sanity.

Here is such an example...

GMP

DRIVEN INSANE

Excerpts From The Journal Of Gerry Masterson Perrault

(Western North Carolina Insane Asylum)

(Entry 2379)

So sad, so sad... so sad you were.

You were distressed and angry. And no one realized the trouble you were in. You tried to live your life in and outward show of fun and games, but actually it was lived in waves of horrid mental pain.

Sometimes you cried out for a helping hand. Sometimes you screamed out for a little understanding. Sometimes you ripped away at the calloused layers of your broken soul. Sometimes you were heard... but rarely by the entity who could help you find your focus.

(Entry 2380)

For a time, you thought you were actually full of hatred, you did. And so, at the end of another day, at thirty-three years of age, you felt as though your life was no longer worth the effort of trying to live it sane. Something evil and hateful inside you decided that you were a failure. To date, you had accomplished nothing you thought was worth bragging about because you never really changed the world.

If you are blind to the physical world around you... seeing all, but seeing nothing... how can you help yourself? How can a man who is battling his own sanity make the people who interact with him see what he sees. How can he help himself to become better when those people only try to help him by injecting him with experimental drugs?

(Entry 2381)

You waged your own private war inside your mind. You battled against a mighty enemy. You realized that you had little chance of winning this battle, though, since they kept telling you that the enemy was yourself!

(Entry 2384)

Over thirty years of a conflicted life has now gone by.

So much time is passing as you scream aloud your frustration on a daily basis.

You have pulled at those short strands of life.

You felt as though you were dangling before the gates of a private hell.

And you always have had thoughts of:

DEATH!

SUICIDE!

DESTRUCTION!

BLOOD LETTING!

GORE!

KNIVES!

EXPLOSIVES!

MURDER!

(Entry 2388)

The bouts of depression can be severe. 

You have always done your best to control it. But the times are hard on a man with severe mental problems like paranoid delusions and psychotic breaks from reality ... and you are skewed... and you have continually cracked under the strain... and your time has finally come to shift the blame... oh, the world must pay, you have declared... and the payment will be severe. 

And it was, for a time.

You do remember the best old days... when you were in the institution and the medication kept you kind of sane and possessing of hope. 

You had some fantastic Jelly Bean dreams during those days... of a life with money and a beautiful wife and a red Italian sports car that cost over two hundred thousand dollars and got really shitty gas mileage. That was a damn good dream... when you did dream.

(Entry 2395)

And one day, when you had what passed as drug induced clarity, you saw “it” on the television. What you saw changed your life and brought you to the new reality you grasp onto today.

Some fool religious jerk was using “it” to justify the end of the world event that was to occur Tuesday of next week. He was talking like a crazy person... but, that thing in his hands was the “it” that you needed to get your hands on to, perhaps, help you to find yourself.

You focused on your clarity for three weeks. You then took twenty dollars of the money in your change jar and asked Nurse Parham  if she would pick up “it” for you from a bookstore. You begged her throughout her shift until she agreed to bring it to you... if Doctor Middleton approved it.

She told you that she would be back on Monday. She also assured you that when she returned from the weekend that she would either have “it” for you, or give you back your money.

It was all OK with you. You were focused right now and surely you could keep it together until Monday.

(Entry 2406)

The weekend was long and the television was boring during this time of the year. But, you kept it together without a single incident between you and the staff. Some of them even told you that they were proud of you for not yelling out aloud at the whispers inside the walls of your mind.

And when Monday came... and Nurse Parham returned with a package for you to take back into your room... you thanked her once before rushing to your room to covet your new possession -- a brand new copy of commercial version of The Horrorwalker Travel Guide tome.

(Entry 2415)

By proxy of what you have read in your new possession, you now know you are not as crazy as you thought you were.

And the thoughts of causing your own death are gone now.

The desire to own an M-16 have faded, too.

You no longer dream of throwing a grenade into a transit bus.

The stories inside this horror tome has given you a focus into the horrors you have always know to exist to drive you mad... but were drugged out of your head by the staff of one hospital facility after another since the first “incident" at your parents house when you were six years old.

You never really wanted to cut out the heart of Missy the cat and Franklin the Saint Bernard, but they were weak willed and became possessed by two of the demon monsters that surround us all... and you HAD to eat their hearts in order to make sure the monsters were completely destroyed.

(Entry 2419)

So sad, your life... or so you have been told.

To be distressed and angry and a total psychopath.

You have lived your life within this warped bubble of insanity.

And sure, your played-out derision caused many deaths.

And, of course, you have tried to take your own life many times.

And though there was justification for the horrors you perpetrated... you now realize that the murder of an animal, or a human, is not the way to rid it, or him, of the monster you can see inside it, or him.

And the real tragedy is? You will never again get the chance to practice what you now have learned outside the walls of this heavily guarded asylum for the criminally insane. 

(Epilogue: Entry 2427)

This is not a mental snap from reality. This shit is really happening to me... right now! Holy shit... the Horrorwalker is standing at the foot of my bed. This is not the nightmare of my crazed mind. It is really going to make me hold its actual horror tome to read a story from those magical pages.

Or, is it going to slice off my head with that weapon it carries with it. Is it my messenger of death to force me to pay for the crimes I have committed during my quest for a clearer warped reality?

I am getting out of my bed now. I can not even feel the always ice cold linoleum floor underneath my bare, sockless feet. I am walking toward it now. Toward what fate of life, or death?

I hope that I will write down my upcoming experience in my journal after the Horrorwalker finishes with me and leaves my room. 

What can the Horrorwalker show to a man who has lived most of his life locked down in a fortified asylum? I will write it all down in my journal, after the fact... if I am to actually survive this moment in time.

Oh, oh... it is extending its right hand with the tome in it toward me and...

GMP